Hyperemesis Gravidarum: I know

 Too much vomiting in pregnancy.

That’s essentially the definition of hyperemesis gravidarum. 

And it’s no fun.

I had HG with my first baby. And none of the tricks for morning sickness helped.

• Small frequent meals
• Ginger
• Magnesium
• B6
• B6 and unisom 
• Eating protein and complex carbs
• Drinking lots (8-12 cups of water per day)
• Sucking on Preggie Pops
• Wristbands for nausea (seabands)

And people were so quick to offer their fool-proof advice. “Oh, all you need to do is xyz! That always fixes it!”

And when you told them you had tried it already, without any improvement in your symptoms, they looked at you rather blankly and then moved to their second assumption of  “maybe you didn’t do it right? Because, seriously, it works for everybody else.”

I rather wearily left people to their assumptions until I met another HG mom. I told her I had tried everything. And all she said in return was “I know.”

Such a simple response but it comforted me. She knew I was a good mommy — of course I was diligent to try the recommendations. She knew I was smart - of course I did everything right. She knew I was dealing with HG - of course it didn’t fit in the parameters of common Morning sickness.

I do appreciate people sharing their advice and stories of what helped them. This is how women learn from each other. And sometimes I learn things that completely turn my situation around, and I’m grateful. So I’m not here to shut down advise-givers.

But I am here to say this: if you are one of those rare people who know when to give advice and when to simply say “I know,” I thank you!!! Keep up the good work!

It’s a Fun Experiment!

 Are you a toddler? Guess what! I have an idea for a fun experiment! Let’s see what happens if we scream and cry when we don’t get our way! How will we know the results if we don’t try? Come on! Give the drama your best shot!

Are you a mama? Oh. Sorry. Nobody thinks about how much the mama enjoys being the subject of these toddler experiments.

This week, I (as the mama of a toddler) have felt pages mentally to my breaking point.

So, of course, I called MY mama.

Who laughed softly and shared how very much she understood. And, in her gentle way, encouraged me to keep up the good work, raising my daughter to be a wonderful woman someday.

So, let me pass that encouragement along to the rest of you mamas. You’re doing great. And we understand. We really do.

Happy Mother’s Day

 Happy Mother’s Day to all of you!!!!

Challenge: True, Kind, and Valuable

 I like to do weeklong challenges for my mouth and my attitude, lol.

It helps me reset.

So this week, my challenge is called…

     TRUE, KIND, and VALUABLE, with a touch of pleasantness.

Basically my goal is to watch what I’m saying and how I’m saying it, especially towards my husband and children because they often see the worst of me. It’s so easy for me to snap at them simply because I’m stressed about something.

So this week, I’m going to practice being intentionally kind in all my communications, especially to my family.

How about you? Do you feel like you could take on this challenge? Who’s with me!?

Potty training

 I feel like I know very little about potty training and I’m just winging it.

I had a friend who did “elimination communication” with her baby, and I read about African women who manage to not get peed on even though the baby on their backs had no diaper.

I thought that sounded pretty cool.

When I had my baby, I had a tough recovery for several weeks. And I realized that balancing my newborn over a potty simply wasn’t going to happen.

But around 6 months old, when she could sit with a little support (think “boppy pillow” or “mommy holding lower back and hips”), we started on the potty again. I found that she consistently peed when she woke up from nighttime or naps. So we just did that. I wasn’t worried about the other times she peed; I just focused on those times I knew would be winners.

I usually murmured “good job” when she pottied on the potty. But I wasn’t overly exuberant. I wanted her to know the potty was a good thing and she was doing it right, but I didn’t want the potty to be a way to impress mommy. I wanted to have the attitude of “of course you’ll go on the potty. That’s what we do.”

As she got older, we used the potty more and more. Some weeks I caught every single poop on the potty. Some weeks, I didn’t catch any. 

At this point, she has never taken her own diaper off, so I wasn’t in a hurry to take potty training to the next level.

But you know what?

She was.

All of the sudden, she decided she wanted to go potty more often. She yells, “potty! Potty! Potty! Potty!” And the two of us rush to the nearest bathroom.

No fighting. No bribing. No initiative on my part.

How easy was that!

Downsides: 

• she still sometimes pees in her diaper. I’m not too worried about that. She’s already catching more of them in the potty than she was a month ago. We’ll get there.
• I have to stop and run every single time. Sometimes that’s hard.
• Sometimes she doesn’t actually need to potty. She simply wants to enjoy the delights of sitting in the potty (fun new seat, more of mommy’s attention, a pretty shower curtain to admire, etc). Which is exasperating when I drop and run for nothing. But I try not to make a big deal of that either — it won’t last forever.

I did figure out one really helpful thing about night-time. I will take her to the potty at night if she requests it…

But…

Don’t Turn the Lights On!

I have a nightlight in the bathroom that is just bright enough to find the potty. I say little or nothing. I make very little eye contact. I set her on the potty and wait for her to finish. Any more stimulation than that turns the potty trip into a way to stay up all night.

I also don’t rush her. At first, I was so eager to get back to bed that I kept asking “are you done yet?” That was s bad idea because…

• I was getting more irritated with each delay
• She was getting more stimulated by my frequent questions
• She was enjoying experimenting with different answers to explore different reactions from me
• When I did manage to rush her back to bed, I felt guilty for rushing her when she asked to go back to the potty two seconds later. On the other hand, when I let her initiate the desire to return to bed, I can also confidently say “all done potty, go to sleep now” when I know she’s actually done.

So…for a mommy who’s just winging this whole thing, I’m really really pleased with the progress. Check back in another six months to see how it turns out in the end!

Helping Mama - A Guide to Peaceful Education for Toddlers

The caption on this is “helping mama fix supper.” ❤️❤️❤️

And it makes it sound like I’m a super great mom, with a super advanced baby.

Which she is.

But…

The backstory is that she was so fussy that I couldn’t get ANYTHING done. I directed her to projects she could do on her own. I got out fun toys she hadn’t played with for a couple weeks. Nothing was working, and we NEEDED supper at some point!

So I plopped her up in a chair at the sink to “help” me wash potatoes and carrots.

I’m not super mom. 

This wasn’t a carefully crafted educational opportunity.

It was just me, desperate for some sanity and peace while I chopped a few vegetables, lol.

But you know what? Sometimes life itself is the best way to train your baby for,…well, life itself!

Necessity can be the mother of education and fun.

Someday this will translate to real help for me and then eventually independence for her.

Meanwhile…She looks really cute at the kitchen sink!!

Salad Shooter drama

 So here’s a picture of a salad shooter…

Little motor spins around and grates your vegetables. I’ve got an old one that’s probably almost as old as I am, and I love it.

Looks harmless, right?

NOT ACCORDING TO MY DAUGHTER!!!!

Just this morning, I grabbed it from the cabinet to grate some zucchini and she started whimpering at the sight of it (please refer to picture above to get an idea of its terrifying visage). By the time I had the motor on a few seconds, she was bawling like a child in a war zone.

I. Am. Just. Making. Zucchini. Bread.

Nobody is dying.

Our house is still standing.

You need to breathe.

Being a first-time mom, I’m never entirely sure what to do. I needed to make the zucchini bread. But I don’t want to make my baby cry. And I don’t want her to have long-term fears of salad shooters.

She used to be scared of the vacuum cleaner, but as soon as I started holding her while vacuuming, she stopped being scared of it. Now she’s fine even if I’m not holding it.

That didn’t really help with the salad shooter. She just wrapped her arms around me and sobbed.

So I did my go-to reaction. A calm steady approach that gets the job done, provides a safe embrace for my baby, but keeps it very chill. No grasping her to my chest and cooing over her like I just rescued her from something terrible. Rather, a nonchalant but capable hug that is mildly surprised you need a hug from such a little disturbance but is none-the-less happy to give it to you.

She was still scared. Apparently I’m not going to fix this in one session. But hopefully she will learn that she survives every time, and by the time she’s old enough she’ll be able to use the machine herself!

When I finished grating zucchini, I made lunch and sat down to eat. She crawled into my lap, put her arms around my neck, and just sat there. 

Feeling my calmness.

My heartbeat and breaths helping to regulate hers.

Releasing all the tension she had built up.

It seemed like a long time to me. But I stayed still for her. I want to be the kind of mama that she can come to when she needs me, no matter how long it takes.

So now is your turn to help me out! Give me your stories of things your babies were scared of, and tell me how it turned out!

The Log in Your Own Eye

You have probably already heard the parable about the log in your own eye. Yeshua (Jesus) said we were picking on a speck in someone else's eyes when we had a log in our own. He told us to get rid of the log in our own eye and THEN help other people with their specks.

When we raise children, we need to set good examples for them. How can I teach my daughter to be cheerful when she wakes up if I’m grumpy when I open my own eyes? How can I tell her to be kind to others if I’m not kind?  How will she learn not to gossip if that’s what she hears me doing every time I’m on the phone? And how will she learn to cultivate a relationship with God if she doesn’t see me cultivating my own relationship with Him?

As mamas, sometimes we can get so caught up in the day-to-day scramble of parenthood that we forget to prioritize our time with God. But trust me on this — your whole day will go SO MUCH SMOOTHER when you put Him first!!!

That quality time may look a little different for each person but here are a few things that help me:

1. Think about Him as you fall asleep. This may flow naturally for you, or you may use a guideline for this (like reciting scriptures or prayers, or working your way through the alphabet describing God with words that begin with each letter)
2. Make your first waking thought be of gratitude toward Him
3. Pray while you do chores — like washing dishes or folding laundry.
4. Find time to talk to Him out loud during the day — whether it’s asking Him to help you find your keys or it’s telling Him that the clouds He made are gorgeous.
5. Ask His forgiveness (out loud) when you mess up.
6. Read His Word and meditate on it. I read aloud so my baby can hear my voice. Or sometimes I’ll play an audio Bible because it keeps my eyes and hands free for attending to babies.
7. Tell Bible stories — straight from the Bible — to your children. Both you and they will learn together!
8. Get support from others. Friends or churches that will help you learn more about God and His Ways and deepen your relationship with Him.

Those are some things that help me! How do YOU keep your relationship with God thriving while being a good mommy?

Why Animals are Important

(Picture of my faithful loyal companion…who happens to be stealing somebody’s socks)

 

First of all, I love animals.

Not everybody feels the connection I do. I can respect that. I can’t understand it, but I can accept it and accept the fact that you can still be a good person even if you don’t love animals.

But here are some of the benefit of learning to interact with animals:

• There’s the potential for so much love. You love them. They love you. Life can be so rich.
• You learn empathy. Put yourself in your pet’s shoes. See life the way they see it.
• You learn non-verbal communication, across different species. 
• You practice looking out for the smaller and weaker. This translates to looking out for other people someday, too
• You practice moving with both caution and confidence when handling animals who have the potential to be dangerous.
• You develop responsibility, faithfulness, fulfillment of duties for those animals that rely on you.
• You develop a selflessness that willing cares for someone else — even if the task is gross or inconvenient.
• Some animals may give you the chance to do physical activities — running with your dog, riding a horse, carrying a hay bale, swimming with dolphins.
• Animals help give you a healthy exposure to germs and microbes that enhance your immune system. They often also increase your exposure to fresh air and sunshine.
• You learn random facts about them…which makes you smarter.
• Animals make you smile more.
• And some animals perform duties that benefit you: guarding your house, killing pests, offering transportation, providing food, etc.

With all these benefits, what’s not to love about including animals in your child’s life?

What benefits have you seen in your own experience?

Why Outside

 So, as a new mommy, I’ve had a host of information poured in my direction about the importance of different aspects of child development.

Your baby needs to see different color patterns and contrasts of light and dark.

• They can get that outside!

Your baby needs to feel lots of different textures.

• They can get that outside!

Nature sounds are soothing for babies.

• Where I live, you can get that outside!

Toddlers need a full array of sensory development.

• They can get that outside!

Toddlers should have a space where they can build their muscles through running, uneven surfaces, climbing, rolling, spinning, swinging, crawling, etc

• They can get that outside!

For healthy eye development, children should have the opportunity to gaze far away.

• They can get that outside!

The list can go on and on. You can buy products and services to help you with these arenas. Or you can just go outside. It’s so simple!

And I’ve met families with neurodiverse children who were a lot happier because of the indescribable ways that “simply being outside” helped them develop. It’s made me think that we really weren’t meant to live sun-up to sundown in the bounds of four little walls.

Now. My ideal has been created. How do I implement this with my own baby?

When she was tiny, I simply looked for opportunities to be outside with her.

• Sometimes I laid a blanket on the ground and set her on it so she could breathe in the fresh air and look around while she kicked her legs.
• Sometimes I put her in my tummy pack and went for a walk — I needed to get back in shape anyway!
• Sometimes I found a task I could do outside — like folding a basket full of laundry
• Sometimes I didn’t accomplish much of anything — and this was the hardest part…convincing myself that being outside was so important that it, in and of itself, was an accomplishment for the day. But it really is.

Then we hit a time where we weren’t outside much at all.

I was not motivated.

Other things took precedence.

It was cold.

“Outside time” ended up being the length of time it took the dog to potty. Which isn’t that long in the winter.

But nagging in the back of my mind was this thought: I need to give my baby toddler the opportunity to be outside more. How am I going to do that?

Fast forward to a few months ago. My TODDLER became the driving force getting us outside. She brought me her shoes and pointed out the door. And how could I say no to that?

She loves being outside. Sometimes she runs around, or practices a skill (like going up and down the stairs). Sometimes she settles into a small area to sort rocks. At first, I hovered closely. But, as she slowly gained skills and proved them to me, I could back up and let her explore her world on her own.

(I still do an initial sweep for dangers, like spiders and snakes and sharp objects. And I make sure she stays in my sight. But I no longer crouch one step below her with my arms ready to catch her when she’s on the stairs!)

I love watching her grow and develop and enjoy God’s creation! And the outside time makes me feel like a good mommy.

What’s your story? Do you think outside time is important? How have you and your family gotten outside recently?

Picking Important Things to Pass Down

 

A loaf of bread (Challah) that we made this week.

We all have things we want to impart to our children — ideas, skills, feelings, values. Sometimes it’s something our parents taught us (or the opposite of something our parents taught us). Sometimes it’s something we’ve picked up on our own as we grew up.

Different people pick different things. And that’s okay. I’m going to share a few of mine. I’d love to hear about yours in the comments!!!

My primary thing I want to pass down is knowing God, having a good relationship with Him, and knowing how to apply His instructions to your life.

But I also value things like: 

• spending time outside
• Understanding animals
• Being kind
• Solving problems, and seeing obstacles as challenges with solutions
• Taking time to understand how things work
• Enjoying and experiencing your emotions without having them rule you
• Developing empathy (without letting every sad person drag you down with them)
• Finding the positive in every situation
• Learning. Studying. Researching. Experimenting.
• Treating people and animals and plants and all Creation with respect
• Being responsible, reliable, trustworthy.
• Building strength, flexibility, balance, spatial skills, and awareness.
• Cultivating joy in yourself and in others
• How to take care of your spirit, soul, and body 
• Life skills (cooking, cleaning, laundry, home maintenance, car maintenance, money management, job skills)
• Knowing how to play with others AND knowing how to play alone
• Wisdom and common sense
• Defending the weak

And that’s just for starters, lol. 

Over the next few weeks, I’m going to be talking more about these topics and how I hope to cultivate them in my toddler.

But today, I want to know: what topics are you hoping to instill in your children?

Introducing…

 Just because something is common doesn’t mean it isn’t precious. There are mamas all over this world, and yet, it is still one of the most valuable roles in history. And when God gave us our little Rivkah, I got to step into this most awesome position. I’m not the only mama in the world, but, as I tell Riv, “I’m the Mama for you!”

I’ve got a lot to share with you guys. Married life. Infertility. Miscarriage. Pregnancy. Birth. Newborns. Homemaking. And now, the Toddler Years!

I don’t know it all, so this is a journey of discovery. But I have awesome parents of my own, awesome friends who are parents, and my own compilation of research and experience from which I will be pulling wisdom to share with you guys.

I will also be hosting ads and things like that to generate some income for my little family. I’m hoping to use my love of writing to help others in their walk, and also have a productive way to meet some personal needs and wants!

I want to get your feedback!!! Give me comments. Ask questions. Share your own experiences. Everything needs to be kind and fitting for the topic, of course, but getting to learn from you guys is important to me. And it will be important for other people reading your comments, too!